Disclaimer: This is something I wrote for the book, and didn’t use. (for those who have the book, this was a spoken word piece written by Michael. Extra credit to the 1st person who can tell me where this scene originally took place)

Damn it!

I am going to be happy today. I can just feel it. Like when you know the guy in the next lane is going to cut you off. Not that he’s signaled or anything. But you’ve seen the look, the subtle inching up to the car in front of him. And sure enough that thoughtless heathen, like he’s done countless times before, careens his ride to the left, right in front of you, daring you to hit him. But always you hit the brakes and the guy behind you curses the day you were born.

Damn it, I can just feel it. I’m gonna be happy today.

Today I am gong to write a nice, breezy poem full of platitudes, attitude and all those fancy things they teach you in creative writing. The words will flow like morphine through your veins or like bad news through a crowd hoping for good news. See, these trappings you call ‘Life’, you need to become detached from them, because someday soon they will detach from you, whether you like it or not.

Oh, but I digress, regress, whatever. I’m going to write something happy. Yeah, happy with a capital ‘H’. Come to think of it, what in the hell does ‘happy’ mean anyway? Maybe that’s my problem. Since I can’t understand the concept, I can’t experience it or get with the meaning. As far as I can tell ‘Happy’ is some delusional state in which you actually believe everything is going to be ‘okay’.

Damn it all to hell! Oh, sorry that was bit redundant wasn’t it?

So, I might have an issue (or two). I’ll give you that. But my state of mind has one upside; always expecting the worst, means never being disappointed. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

ADJ

Please visit www.towrestlewithdarkness.com to see other works or to purchase the book To Wrestle with Darkness.