Everything Considered: Post Racial

The walls are coming down.

The spat between Reverend Sharpton and Dr. Cornel West, while disappointing may be
indicative of a bigger change taking place. Most of us question if we are
really in a post-racial America simply because we now have an African-American
president. If only that were so, I would certainly welcome it.  However, I don’t think we can dismiss changes
taking place around us and within us.

The public airing of laundry between the good rev and the professor mirrored a
series of other public brawls within our community (i.e. Spike Lee vs Tyler
Perry, Donovan McNabb vs Bernard Hopkins, NeNe vs Star Jones, etc…) demonstrate
a willingness to openly criticize one another in front of company (mass
media).  And while there are many negative things about this of which I could write, I also see it as a part
walls coming down on an America divided by race. In the birthing of a post-racial
America, the dismantling of monolithic thought among a people is collateral
damage. And not that we ever all thought alike, but we knew that being a minority;
we had to present a united front, regardless of how we fussed at each other
behind closed doors.

And while I don’t condone this eagerness to clown one another in public, it does
tell me that the involved parties don’t feel the need to place the need of the
race ahead of their own agenda. I don’t know that the rest of Black America
feels the same way. I know that, in the workplace I am still reluctant to put a
brother or sister on blast in mixed company (ok, I don’t blast anyone, but you
see my point).  But it seems the famous and those seeking to be so, do not feel the same constraint.

The walls are coming down, that’s for darn sure. So, this discussion is certainly warrented. But without questioning anyone’s motivation, I have to ask the question; are we really close enough to the post-racial shore to quit rowing together? I think only time will reveal if we truly are, but it appears that some feel that are. I sure hope they are right.  

My novel, To Wrestle With Darkness, is on sale now for $2.99 on Amazon.com.

Follow me on Twitter at @poppa1050.

Pieces of me.

No, it will not be easy. But the fruit of our labor, which is love, is in itself, glorious enough.

Better now while my heart is full, my vision focused and my path true.

God sits with this sullen child and whispers words of encouragement in my ear.

It  doesn’t have to make sense. It simply is.

Alan Jones

Please visit: www.towrestlewithdarkness.com to purchase the book To Wrestle With Darkness on sale now for $2.99 or buy it directly from Amazon here: Purchase directly from Amazon

Everything Considered – The Dating Game – Part 2

Do you know people who are never happy? They complain about everything, even to the point that if they won the lottery, they’d cry about paying the taxes. So, what does this have to do with dating? Well, some people behave this way in their relationships too. Nothing is ever good enough, and they are always looking for the exit.  I call it Relational A.D.D.

The truth of the matter is that some folks are just in love with being in love.  And even more unfortunate, is that this phrase means something totally different for men and women.

For women, it’s that sense of endless possibilities or having finally come to the end of a long journey. However, after having reached the mountain top, these women can’t help but notice the other peaks around them, and deeply believe that somehow the view must be better atop them. And why is this? It is my earnest belief that their behavior is a result of their belief that someone else is responsible for their happiness, besides themselves. And from where does this thought process originate? Gosh, in western culture perhaps a better question is where is this message not conveyed?  From Cinderella to The Notebook, from cradle to grave, western women have been sold on finding a man to make them happy. When in truth, you can only be happy with any particular man only to the degree with which you are happy with yourself.   Happiness, for broken people is always fleeting. Work on you first.

But for these men, it’s a case of being in love with new loving.  This is a battle every man faces, but it is one that he must win, if he wants to maintain his situation and not have his resources, literally spread out all over town. For the sake of this conversation, let’s exclude faithful men and free agents (“hook ups only, please.”) and focus on guys who go from dating relationship to another, serial monogamist, if you will (although, technically, often they move on to the next relationship, without informing the current partner first). These men are afflicted with an internal conflict between the norms of society and their own desires. Whereas faithful men and free agents know who they are, Relational A.D.D. men are caught up in a cycle of behavior they cannot explain and can only, at best rationalize. They will cast dispersions upon their current lady, in order to justify why they feel the need to move on, when in truth it is physiological response to a stimuli they’ve “chosen” not to deny.  And ironically, the perceived shortage of eligible men and the resulting raised competition between women only increases Relational A.D.D. in men. Sadly, the only cure for these men seems to be negative reinforcement. Meaning, that until they have real regret, they’ll not change, and Ms. New Loving always makes it easier to forget…at least for a little while.

Also, be sure to check out The Dating Game Part 1

Please visit: www.towrestlewithdarkness.com

to purchase the book To Wrestle With Darkness on sale now for $2.99 or buy it directly from Amazon here: Purchase directly from Amazon

The Relationship Ten Commandments for Women

PSA: Print and post this in your car on the back side of your sun visor.


1) How he treats others is how he will someday treat you.

2) The secret lies not in what you attract, but rather in what you let in.

3) Just because he likes you, doesn’t mean he’s trying to get with you

    and just because he’s trying to get with you, doesn’t mean he likes you. Sorry. 

4) Better to entertain the doubts of a wise friend, than the certainty of a fool. Listen now, or cry later.

5) Given enough time, every player will eventually play himself. It’s like a cosmic law or something.

6) A man who can be bought is not worth a dime, but a man who can’t, is priceless.

7) You can’t change a man. What don’t you understand about that?

8) Respect his mama, no matter how you feel.

9) If he won’t work hard for himself, why would he do so for you? Seriously, why?

10) You get what you advertise for.

In summation: The best man is the one that puts God first, you second and himself last. Most will see this statement as preachy, but some will understand the importance of having an internal compass rather than an external one.

Please visit: www.towrestlewithdarkness.com

to purchase the book To Wrestle With Darkness on sale now for $2.99, and to see other works by the author, Alan Jones.

A Call to Write

I’ve noticed since the inauguration of President Obama an uptick in the rhetoric and even lightly veiled threats to the president and our country. I am sure that many of you have heard the chatter from the likes of Sean Hannity, Alan Keys and Rush Limbaugh as they argue that President Obama must be stopped at any cost. Mr. Keys claims that we either stop him (President Obama) or this nation will cease to exist.

First, let me say that I do not wish to exists at any cost. If I must cast off all that I am, and myself become an abomination to myself and others, I would rather that I not have been born at all. And likewise for this country, if we yield to the vulgar nature of fear and loathing to continue our existence then have already forsaken all those things we claim to be, and we make a mockery of the creed “One Nation Under God”.

Secondly, it seems equally clear to me that “we” must push against the current of hate and rage, with all the vigor of our beings, that all that we have worked for may not perish from the face of the earth. Yes, this country is at great risk right now, but not anything president Obama has done, but rather from the lips of those who oppose freedom when the candidate of their choice is not elected. Where were these voices the last 8 years? With very few exceptions, those clamoring the loudest to that we are on the wrong track, are the very same ones who sold and embarrassed themselves for the conductors of this path. Where was their outrage then?

Thirdly, we must confess that we are a country of morally dishonest people when it comes to politics and the whole national scene. We take up truths that line up with our predetermined position or affiliation. Many know the truth but they are too afraid to say it. The truth is, that President George H Bush (the father) was a good president. He corrected the fiscal policies for President Reagan, that led to the last major recession. President Reagan was a great leader, but his polices were very flawed. President Clinton benefited from President Bush’s fiscal policy, but had the good sense to build upon them. And as the years pass and the media spin wears off, President Carter will look better and better. While not right on everything, he was right on so much, that we as a nation were just not ready to hear.

And today, this clutter of lies and extreme positions continue. The big news this week was about the New York Post cartoon. And while I personally found the bit in poor taste given that a woman died, it did not offend me otherwise. The stimulus package was written by House, amended by the Senate and finalized between the two chambers. President Obama had little to do with the lesser items (pork) in the bill, but rather campaigned for its quick passage for all the big things in it which we all (should) hope lessens the fallout of this crisis. Can you imagine the chaos over the next several months if many a state government simply ground to a halt? Those who argue against this bill know this the truth, and so do those that argue for it. And yet, here we are being pulled into this controversy about what someone put in the New York Post. Come on people, we’re taking about the New York Post, not the Washington Post. NAACP, don’t we have better things to do?

So, the question in my mind is just how do we change the conversation? How do we affect change, such that we speak and act upon real issues and not rhetoric and blind ideology born out of fear of those different from ourselves?

We write.

We write upon this gigantic blackboard called the Internet. We write to newspapers large and small. We write to the radio stations that broadcast programs that prey upon our fears and promote incivility. We write to our legislators and congress persons. We write article, opinion pieces and letters to national and local magazines. We write anywhere where we have the right to express ourselves and our shared belief of a better existence here in this life. We write the truth, no matter how painful it may be, whether it benefits us personally or not, and whether it offends or not. We must have faith in the truth, and that by its inherent power; we will be delivered from this current climate of bitterness and deceit.

Lastly, let us remember that nothing is impossible for those who have faith in what is good and just. Whether we see it in the flesh or not, does not matter if we live it in our own lives.


Please visit www.towrestlewithdarkness.com to purchase the book To Wrestle With Darkness on sale now for $2.99 and to see other works by the author Alan Jones.

My Prayer

My God, I am humbled by thy faithfulness unto me.

To the One who was, is and is to come, bless me with thy Holy Spirit, that I might have thy peace and let go of all these earthly things. Let my thoughts be your thoughts, that I might serve thy purpose. May my life be a prayer unto thee and a blessing unto your creation.


Please visit: Amazon to purchase the book Sacrifices on sale now for $2.99, and to see other works by the author, Alan Jones.

Or visit my site, AlanDJones.com, just to hang out.

Everything Considered: The Dating Game – Part 1

Here is the ugly truth of the matter; most of what you read about finding a mate is largely crap that some writer slung against the wall, hoping something sticks.  And while many of their suggestions are helpful, they often ignore the elephant in the room.  Equating finding a mate to balancing a budget, these actions are like deciding you’re going to cut Starbucks out of your diet.  Sure, that will save you at least $60 a month and taking your lunch could save you another $120 to $150 a month, but the elephant in the room is that convertible you got sitting in the garage and the five bedroom house you bought (and you’re single).  But if you start with the big stuff, you’ll reach your goal much faster.

So, what is the real root of the problem? It is our inability to pick quality mates.  Sure, “some” people change, and sometimes, “stuff” does happen. But by and large, said person was “trifiling” when you met them.   No?  Ask yourself the following.

Do they go out of their way to help others, not just their kin folks?

Do they flip other people off in traffic when they feel they’ve been done wrong?

Do they always seem to have problems with people?

Are they good stewards of what they have already?

Do the litter?

I firmly believe that little things, like this, will tell a whole lot about a person. And why is this important in the dating game? Because half of the problem in the dating game isn’t finding the right person, rather it’s investing your time and energy in the wrong person. If you invest your resources only in people who understand love, real love, the kind of love that pays you back better than you deserve, then you will never waste another moment in your life in the dating game.

Now, having said this, I must caution that having a quality mate does not mean that your relationship will be problem free, but as Bob Marley intimated, you want to be with someone who is worth suffering for. You want someone, who, without a second thought, will do the same for you.

Please visit: www.towrestlewithdarkness.com

to purchase the book To Wrestle With Darkness on sale now for $2.99 or buy it directly from Amazon here: Purchase directly from Amazon


Focus is the refinement of Then

into the here and now.


It is simple,

and yet seldom mastered.


Tomorrow is an untamed and unknown giant

wreaking havoc on today, but only as we allow it.

Our actions today, are the chains which bind tomorrow.


Thus place your heart in the future,

but your eyes on the present,

and your worries in the past.




Please visit: www.towrestlewithdarkness.com to purchase the book To Wrestle With Darkness on sale now for $2.99, and to see other works by the author, Alan Jones.