Here is the ugly truth of the matter; most of what you read about finding a mate is largely crap that some writer slung against the wall, hoping something sticks.  And while many of their suggestions are helpful, they often ignore the elephant in the room.  Equating finding a mate to balancing a budget, these actions are like deciding you’re going to cut Starbucks out of your diet.  Sure, that will save you at least $60 a month and taking your lunch could save you another $120 to $150 a month, but the elephant in the room is that convertible you got sitting in the garage and the five bedroom house you bought (and you’re single).  But if you start with the big stuff, you’ll reach your goal much faster.

So, what is the real root of the problem? It is our inability to pick quality mates.  Sure, “some” people change, and sometimes, “stuff” does happen. But by and large, said person was “trifiling” when you met them.   No?  Ask yourself the following.

Do they go out of their way to help others, not just their kin folks?

Do they flip other people off in traffic when they feel they’ve been done wrong?

Do they always seem to have problems with people?

Are they good stewards of what they have already?

Do the litter?

I firmly believe that little things, like this, will tell a whole lot about a person. And why is this important in the dating game? Because half of the problem in the dating game isn’t finding the right person, rather it’s investing your time and energy in the wrong person. If you invest your resources only in people who understand love, real love, the kind of love that pays you back better than you deserve, then you will never waste another moment in your life in the dating game.

Now, having said this, I must caution that having a quality mate does not mean that your relationship will be problem free, but as Bob Marley intimated, you want to be with someone who is worth suffering for. You want someone, who, without a second thought, will do the same for you.

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